Huge Scoop and Rumor!
The DC Council is said to be seriously considering offering to change the name of Pennsylvania Avenue to honor Donald J Trump, in a bid to finally get statehood.
My source says that most of the Council met at Benjamin Bar & Lounge in the Trump hotel on Pennsylvania Ave in a late night strategy session. Their goal, flatter the man in the Oval Office to the point that he'll support making Washington DC the 51st state.
"Flattery gets you everywhere," said one Councilmember, reportedly while shooting tequila. "And with this guy, it's really the only way to get any where."
"The fact that DC now has over 700,000 residents, more than Vermont and Wyoming, is astounding," said another Councilmember who was busy munching on the Lounge's $49 unlimited cheese and charcuterie platter. "We're really compact compared to them, and face it, we have almost as many guns as Wyoming and probably more pot than Vermont."
The plan is to have the name changed in time for Trump's egomaniacal military parade scheduled for November 2018, so that Fox News talking heads can repeatedly say over and over on TV how DC changed the name of this historic avenue to honor the president.
"We know that when DJT sees people talking about him on Fox he believes it more than he believes his own national security advisors," an aide to the Council Chairman said. "So we figure, hey, let's change the name on the same day as the parade!"
What will the new Avenue be called? What do you think, is it worth it?
As for Petworth News, we recommend naming DC Water’s new Blue Plains Advanced Wastewater Treatment Plant after the 45th president.
Happy April Fool's 2018!